Family Separation/ Divorce/ Blended families

 

Counselling for Families and Children During Divorce

 

There is no measure of how big the impact is on children, when parents make the decision to end a marriage and live apart. How this critical and sensitive time is handled with both parents, will enable them to make sense and come to an acceptance of a new reality.

Separating parents sometimes are in conflict or do not realize how they can may minimize the impact on the children.

It is not because of their parenting, but because they themselves are overwhelmed, might be in survival mode and not functioning as well as their normal selves. 

It is imperative that the children’s needs be kept to the forefront in decisions made by separating parents.

 

Whether or not parents feel they require to seek help from a counselor or other helping professional, it is strongly advised for the mental health and wellbeing of the child or children.

 

The severity of the impact depends on many things; the age of the children, how much they can take in of what has happened, as well as the level of support they get.

 

How the break-up is managed by the parents determines the impact on the child. Ongoing conflict and feelings of anger and bitterness between parents that can and will cause lasting emotional damage to the child that is never any parents intention.

 

Children need to be reassured that they still have two parents who love them. Though the parents' relationship has ended, their love for the children has not.

They will continue to be there for the children, not just now but in the long-term.

 

 

How Counselling for Children Helps during Divorce

 

Separation and divorce affects children. However much we may want to ignore or gloss over this fact, and no matter how amicable a separation or divorce, it inevitably has a powerful effect on the children. Counselling can be a huge help at this time as a way to minimise the negative effect on children. It can provide them with the kind of unbiased attention, empathy and space to express how things really are for them, which parents may find particularly difficult to offer when they are themselves going through great turmoil, stress and painful change.

 

Counselling for children during divorce provides: 

• A designated time and place that the child/children can go. This ‘space’ acts as their temporary secure base whilst the family is going through the process of separation and change.
• An adult they can talk to, who will listen fully, who gives them their undivided attention and with whom the focus is only on them. Talk does not necessarily have to be about the family, the parents or even about the separation. It could include what’s happening at school or with friends. This ensures the child/children maintain some sense of normality and a degree of ongoing connection with daily life.
• The family counsellor can act as a sounding board. With the counselor the child/children is able to process their day-to-day and deeper feelings, voice their confusion, and ask questions that they may not necessarily feel able to ask of their parents.
• The family counsellor can work with all the children in the family to secure good relationships between siblings.
• The family counsellor can work with the child/children to help them process the loss and grief they inevitably feel around the divorce and all the subsequent changes.

At Good Counsel we can act as a voice for your child/children, if necessary.

 

The family counsellor can also be a reassuring extra pair of eyes and ears to monitor your children’s well-being during this stressful time and offer great support.

 

Single Mothers and Single Fathers

 

This new role is often something one has ever contemplated or prepared for in life, when it becomes a reality.

 

For new Single Mothers and Single Fathers we offer you strength, support  and strategies for you to undertake this role and have the confidence that you are in control and providing wonderful parenting to your children.

 

We offer sound advice, practical and common sense assistance to help you maximize the time you spend with your chidren and providing them with a loving home.

 

The greatest gift you can ever give your children is your love, time and attention and regardless of how it presents itself your children will feel safe, secure and loved.  

 

When we are in a good place ourselves we can be great parents.