There are no rules today for what a normal family looks like.
All families have problems and experience conflict, that is not unusual.
There is no blame or shaming in family therapy as a family is viewed as a sacred system where each family member is a valued member of that system.
When there are issues it brings to light the areas of the system that require attention, new strategies and a fresh approach for all family members to resolve conflict and create a more harmonious and loving family unit. These are thoroughly and respectfully explored in family therapy.
When it works, family is our security and our safe-haven where we develop functional patterns of relating to others, as well as expectations of how others will relate to us. This then becomes the internal template for what we can expect from others in the world. Early childhood experiences with primary caregivers (often but not always parents) shape our expectations of future relationships.
When family relationships are conflicted and unresolved, they may fail to provide the safety and security necessary for a child to go out into the world.
Parental conflict, conflict between children and parents, or between siblings, or with in-laws, can all be major obstacles to the family functioning well and its members being happy.
Consider the following when evaluating how well your own family is functioning:
Some signs that things aren’t working are:
The Blended Family
Bringing two families together under the one roof can be ambitious and challenging but also a harmonious and successful union.
The blending of ‘your’ and ‘my’ children into a new family is something that requires discussion and a strong game plan before the merging of families.
New couples sometimes may assume that because their chosen partner is a suitable person for them, their respective children will view their new parents in the same way.
There are many other potential challenges when forming a blended family.
The success of your blended family depends on having a clear plan involving the co-operation of all family members. To do this requires new skills, discussions and a well-thought-out plan.
Family counselling can be a great help in making it possible to harmoniously form such a plan in a way which includes everyone.
Every family situation is unique and step parents play just as important a role in family life as biological parents, they
are often primary carers and also provide role modeling and support to children.
We assist new step parents, assist issues that arise in relationships and give support and strategies to ensure healthy relationships between partners and children.
Humans never outgrow the need for a secure relationship.
Counselling can assist couples in relationship because there is a science behind love. It may sound strange for "love" to be
described that way but love really is about bonding or as it is known in psychology, 'attachment".
After 30 years of scientific research, clinical studies , laboratory experiments, and applied therapies into attachment and adult bonding, we now know that love is logical, practical and understandable.
Every relationship is unique and has its own life and characteristics that define it.
In couples counselling we explore the relationship dynamics and all aspects of the couple that make the relationship tick and functional and all apsects that make it dysfunctional at times and create hurt and pain for each other.
It is often emotional distance and not conflict that destroys relationships and marriages however working on these issues and having a greater self awareness of oneself and the other person can provide compassion and healing.